When starting off a new year, the first thing that comes to mind is the phrase “new beginnings.” Not only is the statement itself totally redundant, but how cliché is it? It’s only the forth of January, but how many times have you heard it already, or thought it yourself? New beginnings… Yet I can’t think of anything that better describes how I feel about 2016. It’s a new beginning. My life feels like it’s been renewed and I have the most incredible, positive energy washed over me.
Life over the past year has changed so drastically, and I feel like now it is the time for me to flourish, enjoy it and take care of myself. The same feeling anyone gets when they’ve worked hard to build something. In my case, it’s my family.
If you’ve been reading along with me (not that there’s been much to read over the past few months) then you’ve probably read my first post, where I poured my heart out about my life. About my brand, about my struggles, about my family. I was raising my baby turned toddler on my own for quite some time. I was trying to be creative and make a few extra much needed dollars on the side. I was waiting tables for a living (I still am). At times, I felt empowered. Super mom. When the laundry was folded, Ava was fed, and money was in the bank I felt like nothing could bring me down. Other times, I felt like a hollow shell, floating through the week. Fueled by coffee, whatever groceries we had left, and the hopes of some eventual quite time, I would barely make it through a shift at work, with only the fakest of “server smiles” on my face.
A lot has changed since then. First of all, we moved. Ava and I lived in a two-bedroom, two-bathroom house by ourselves. It was over 100 years old, not very well designed, and you could tell. Although the house itself was in good shape, almost everything inside it was not. The stairs were narrow and had nails sticking out in a lot of places. The basement was partially finished, but had the only working shower and was the home to seemingly a million spiders and other bugs I didn’t even know what to call. The kitchen floor was cracked. The hardwood floors were stained and like the stairs, had a few nails I had to hammer back into place. Everything in it was totally outdated. I’m talking like 1970’s. But then the winter of 2014/15 brought forth the final straw – the house became infested with mice. There were traps everywhere, I cleaned the house from top to bottom, tried my best to sweep up every crumb Ava would drop, even got a cat (who apparently doesn’t care to chase mice at all). But it wasn’t enough. Not a week would go by without the appearance of a quick, grey critter. We had to move.
I begged my landlords (who took no responsibility for the infestation) to let me out of my lease early, and they finally did. In April, Ava and I moved into a brand new, beautiful apartment in a nice, quiet area close to the river (with a DISHWASHER!)
2015 brought another surprise (and blessing). Ava’s dad was back in our lives. Well back in my life, as he was always present in Ava’s life. Our year and a half separation was difficult, to say the least. For months prior to our decision to put the puzzle pieces of our family back together, we poured our hearts out to each other, telling each other everything. What we’ve been doing, what we’ve been thinking about, how we felt then.
The three of us have never been happier. Every morning, I think about how proud of the smart, sweet girl Ava is becoming, of how proud I am of the responsible, considerate man Nathan has become, and of how proud of myself and my life I am. To be honest, I’m so grateful for everything these past 12 months.
This year, I’ll be Maid of Honour for my amazing sister (!!!), working a new position, getting my first car, and I can’t wait to see what else is in store for us.
I’m putting the brakes on the motion to obtain a DTG machine and I’m applying my creativity in other ways. Little Deer and The Starving Artist is going to join forces to become more than just an apparel brand. I can’t wait for everyone to see it.
Happiest (and sappiest) of New Years to everyone. May your year be full of sweet surprises.